by avonridge on August 1, 2010
Does your ego let you complain constantly? Does it rob you of the peace and happiness that you seek?
Think about all of the persistent complaints that you have, ones that you complain about over and over again, either to yourself or others.
Some examples would be my spouse never does what I ask of them, my child is always late, I can’t get my co-workers to be supportive of each other, etc.
Take a moment and write down several of your favorites to test the validity of the balance of the discussion.
What you might now realize is that this is the ego talking. Every time that you have a persistent complaint, you get a payoff, and there is a cost to it. It appears as if you want whatever you are complaining about to stop, but in reality, that is not what you want. You want the payoff that comes with the complaint.
Tell me about payoffs, what are they? There are many but here is a prime example. You are right about whatever you are complaining about, thus making the other party wrong or at fault. You validate yourself at the expense of someone else.
You settle for complaining rather than taking action. Rather than confront an issue, you decide to play it safe, and blame others 0D rather than take responsibility.
Due to taking action, you continue complaining and it’s the playoff that keeps you addicted to the game, even though there is a cost to you. The ego wins again.
Next, the victim mentality comes in. You feel powerless and frustrated. Joy, peace and satisfaction are gone when you feel like a victim.
Unless you stop and evaluate the costs of your complaining, you‘ll just continue on and keep letting your ego win. If you can deal with the situation you are complaining about, deal with it. Confront the issues, person or actions in order to resolve the situation.
If you can’t do it, just accept the situation and move on with your life. Keep the
peace, joy and serenity that you were destined to enjoy!
Until next time !!!
by avonridge on July 9, 2010
Does your ego let you complain constantly? Does it rob you of the peace and happiness that you seek?
Think about all of the persistent complaints that you have, ones that you complain about over and over again, either to yourself or others.
Some examples would be my spouse never does what I ask of them, my child
is always late, I can’t get my co-workers to be supportive of each other, etc.
Take a moment and write down several of your favorites to test the validity of the balance of the discussion.
What you might now realize is that this is the ego talking. Every time that you have a persistent complaint, you get a payoff, and there is a cost to it. It appears as if you want whatever you are complaining about to stop, but in reality, that is not what you want. You want the payoff that comes with the complaint.
Tell me about payoffs, what are they? There are many but here is a prime example. You are right about whatever you are complaining about, thus making the other party wrong or at fault. You validate yourself at the expense of someone else.
You settle for complaining rather than taking action. Rather than confront an issue, you decide to play it safe, and blame others 0D rather than take responsibility.
Due to taking action, you continue complaining and it’s the playoff that keeps you addicted to the game, even though there is a cost to you. The ego wins again.
Next, the victim mentality comes in. You feel powerless and frustrated. Joy, peace and satisfaction are gone when you feel like a victim.
Unless you stop and evaluate the costs of your complaining, you‘ll just continue on and keep letting your ego win. If you can deal with the situation you are complaining about, deal with it. Confront the issues, person or actions in order to resolve the situation. If you can’t do it, just accept the situation and move on with your life. Keep the
peace, joy and serenity that you were destined to enjoy!
Until next time!!
